It's life

Section 10 Message (1)
Three days passed by in succession, that man dandified in appearance has not appeared. Lin Yan's daily daily schedule is very regular, go to work in the morning, does not come back in the company at noon, come off duty, will far light food market buy some dish come back in Tang wind district evening, one has supper at home. She will watch TV after supper, often see that does not just turn off the light and sleep until eleven two. Such life is very uninteresting, I am facing toward the computer display screen, can feel that kind that Lin Yan often reveals to lose and helpless.
Sometimes, she rests on and sits on the bed in the nightdress, the position where eyes are staring at the preceding television not moving at all. She can keep this posture for a long time, so that I suspect whether she is really watching TV.
People's look revealed while staying alone, must be the truest mood of her heart. I sympathize with this little woman spied on by me more and more, how I hope the picture that I see when dizzy is untrue, she has never murdered me, I have never known her too. So I wish eagerly to remember all past events further now, I want to know between I and this woman that is called Lin Yan, what kind of a story has happened on earth.
Once gate of memory appear chink, then, some covered with dust past event will picture trickle out slowly being trickling sluggishly to shed while being detailed already. The story of her and me lure me deeply, and let my heart grow and yearn for like the treasure to me at this moment. What I need is only time now, I know I will join the memory part like the piece after all, come in the body letting the life which I once lost get back to me again.
In these three days, before Lin Yan buys vegetables every day, help the large drugstore in health that go by the food market, I can not know she go what medicine there buy, can see after she come back home, will put white pill in a small paper bag into a small medicine bottle, in this way, I guess that that must be sleeping pill after arriving. Drugstore stipulate one can only to suffer from insomnia patient offer two, Yan Lin gather, stand up sleeping pill. I relate to it together that man dandified in appearance at once, perhaps she will put tablet in tea that that man wants to drink, so, that man can be at the mercy of her.
In fact I should expect early, if the woman wants to murder a man, will seldom adopt such a gentle way. Because the motive force that they murder must be frightened and hate, they will not touch it in a situation that the man lost consciousness, if so, they are unable to take advantage of murdering to lead the detestation in the heart off.
At night of the third day, Lin Yan almost has no difference in two days closer, she still leans on and watches TV the bed, I come little voice judge she is watching a concert extremely in note-book, I have tuned in the television to that channel which sows the concert too, is " the same song " Concert. Singer with many over air appears on the scene by turns this night, can win a burst of applause under the platform. It is a small place that look at this one that goes back of the same song, the audience under the platform is straightforward and good-natured and sincere.
When I want to come to the same song in Haicheng City, I have seemed to be to the concert scene too. That is a stage of setting up in the sea water in the bathing beach, arrange the colourful seat on the sandy beach. At that night of performance, really may be said that has an unprecedently grand occasion, amount to several ten thousand people at least and shout loudly with the singer on the platform together, that kind of scene, can arouse all people's enthusiasm absolutely. My enthusiasm is because of the girl around, I do one's utmost to recall the look of that girl, but can only remember what she wore that day is a pair of white trousers of sandy beach, the upper part of the body matched a pale yellow T-shirt, the hair has dyed the simple one chestnut. The most noticeable star of that concert is Cai Qin coming in Taiwan, when she appears on the scene, almost all the audiences have stood up, somebody stands on the chair. The girl around me runs high warmly, she stands on the chair too, a hand is supporting my shoulder, a hand is put up and waved ceaselessly. At that time, her both legs were sticking to my back tightly, I can experience the happiness in girl's heart when rocked from both legs and music harmoniously.
--How happy and optimistic she at that time is!
Present Lin Yan is ripe and melancholy in my eyes, I do not know that come over these years, what kind of experiences she have. She becomes lonely and widowed and joyous, laden with anxiety, though she is still beautiful, have already fallen low for the most ordinary beautiful woman in this city.
I stare at television screen, see inside one Xu half mother old but gaudily dressed woman disturb an appearance of getting.
The scene on the seabeach in the night that I do one's utmost to remember, chestnut girl with long hair and I walk on the reef shoulder to shoulder. The concert should have been already concluded at that time, the stream of people was welled up on the main road outside the bathing beach, the seashore after the noise and excitement has resumed its tranquility, only have staff members, clear up the mess under the shining light.
We have walked for a long time along the sandy beach, then climbed to a piece of reef. The seashore of night is extremely quiet, it seems that still the cage come up like some mist light smoke, the bright moon disappears behind fog, it is told that the tidewater surged is soft as in one's ear each other as we and low.
I hold girls behind, her whole bodies are snuggled up to in my chest.
I certainly kissed her at that time, her lip was ice-cold and moist.
A lot of years later, I seem to feel her lips have just left me, a kind of thin fragrance is full of winding in my body.
I think I must love that girl very much, otherwise, will not recall in so many years, still think that aches in the heart very much. At this moment, I want to see that chestnut girl with long hair more urgently, but all of a sudden she only has a fuzzy shade left in my brain, I do not see her face clearly.
I answer to too come supernaturally of the meditation, am sowing the advertisement inside the television this time, I go back over the head, am staring at the computer display screen in the front again. All of a sudden, I think I seem a bit unnatural.
Lin Yan faces upward and lies in bed, does not move at all for a long time. A hand of hers hangs down high up in the airly on the edge of bed, the wrist place, there is some dark impression dimly.
I am amazed by terrifiedly, the head lay prone in front of the display screen the son subdivided and debated at once. Quickly, I judge those dark impression is actually some bloodstains, I even see some drops of blood are being dripped and fallen down from her wrist ceaselessly.
--The forest swallow has cut the wrist and committed suicide.
I stand up suddenly, go straight by the door to suddenly stop. This moment is extremely messy in my heart. There are a bunch of keys that can open the door downstairs on my body, this is in the world, only I can save forest swallow's lifeblood in the imminence's life. However, if I go to directly in like this, some my questions unwillings to face will inevitablely appear.